Motorola Sage: AT&T's next Android phone?
15 minutes ago
Suck it MTA!
free to associate. Author: adam daniel weiss
Hello audience! So today, we have a special guest writer, Ms. Matthew Louise Wagner! (round of applause? no...crickets...sad face)...Anyway, today Matt shares with us this bitterly funny rant he wrote a few years ago exalting his disgust with the MTA (the Metropolitan Transportation Authority, for those non-NY'ers...I mean, I know all three of my readers live within the confines of NYC, so I'm not really sure who I'm kidding here...anyway, it's long, and intense, it's makes you feel warm in your special places, much like Matt, but it is pretty damn entertaining. Enjoy!
* * *
In keeping with the tradition of bitching about why the MTA sucks dick, I'd like to present my own personal rendition. Most of the following has occurred on the Q line, which I use 2x daily to get to and from work in the city from southern Brooklyn. So:
(1) Clipping your nails on the train is UNACCEPTABLE. For real. It's not that it's viscerally disgusting, like picking a pus-laden wart, but that sound is just so not something I want to be hearing after a long, crappy day at work. Besides, those little nail bits are clearly landing somewhere, and I'd rather not be blinded by pieces of your goddamn body if I can help it.
(2) If you're sweaty and disgusting, DON'T SIT NEXT TO ME. I swear, the trains are filled with stylish, attractive, Bond No. 5-scented and Dove-fresh individuals, and NONE of them ever sit next to me. I always get the homeless people, drunken people, deranged people, foul-smelling people, etc. This morning, I had the pleasure of sitting next to someone who was not only weirdly stunted but also absolutely covered in a sheen of sweat. I had to contort my body into a freakish mime position to avoid having my bare flesh touch hers, and it really, really sucked. When she finally got off and someone took her place, the new occupant had to sit forward on the edge of the seat to avoid a BUTT-SHAPED LINE OF SWEAT (curving inwards at the middle). The sweat-avoider giggled to her friend next to her that she had to do this, but it was definitively not amusing.
(3) If you're wearing a bag, pack or whatever else slung over your shoulder whilst standing in the car, MAKE SURE YOUR SHIT ISN'T BANGING INTO MY HEAD. I swear, the number of people who callously disregard the fact that their huge shit is grinding into my face the entire train ride is stunning. I'm way too passive-aggressive to just come out and tell you to move to the 90% empty rest of the car so your fake Louis bag isn't caressing my cheek, and the fact that I angrily push back into you every time you push into me clearly isn't getting the message across. Perhaps I should just knock you out of the fucking train car at the next stop...?
(4) Stop staring at me. Yes, I see you -- you're the most obvious, least stealthy person currently living in New York. I realize that I'm gorgeous, but please, contain yourself and/or buy a pair of really dark sunglasses so your beady little pupils aren't poring into my soul so conspicuously. If you keep it up, I'll be forced to appendectomize you via your navel with a rusty shrimp fork.
(5) Taking pictures of yourself over and over again with your camera phone is NOT ALLOWED. Christ, gimme a fucking break. The expression of forced ennui on your stupid face is a clear enough indicator that you're bored; do you really need to entertain the entire car with constant clickity sounds as you repeatedly photograph yourself? I realize that updating your picture on Facebook every other day increases the chance you'll score with the ladies, but come on.
(6) When the temperature of a subway station pushes 100 degrees, THE MTA SHOULD DO SOMETHING. Standing in the Union Square station every day after having gone to the gym and showered is truly a torturous experience. The fresh layer of shower melts off almost immediately, and I feel the perspiration bubbling out from under my skin. Usually the train comes soon enough that I can remain refreshed in its air conditioned depths, but when it doesn't, thoughts of tracking down and brutally killing whoever decided not to put worthwhile ventilation in the stations are not far from being realized. The best thing is when, every once in a while, you happen to get into a car where the a/c is broken, and you have to endure the tropical atmosphere until you can switch to another one. I think I suffocated in one of those once and was only brought back to life when an elderly Korean woman used my chest as a trampoline to be the first one out of the car at Canal St.
Anyway, I think that's it for now, though much more is sure to crop up in the future. I hope my unrestrained fury has made you all feel better about your daily commutes, and the next time you encounter a psychopathic, morbidly obese homeless person whose backpack is knocking you in the head, just slit his throat with a CD edge, and think of me while you do it.
xo,
Matt
* * *
In keeping with the tradition of bitching about why the MTA sucks dick, I'd like to present my own personal rendition. Most of the following has occurred on the Q line, which I use 2x daily to get to and from work in the city from southern Brooklyn. So:
(1) Clipping your nails on the train is UNACCEPTABLE. For real. It's not that it's viscerally disgusting, like picking a pus-laden wart, but that sound is just so not something I want to be hearing after a long, crappy day at work. Besides, those little nail bits are clearly landing somewhere, and I'd rather not be blinded by pieces of your goddamn body if I can help it.
(2) If you're sweaty and disgusting, DON'T SIT NEXT TO ME. I swear, the trains are filled with stylish, attractive, Bond No. 5-scented and Dove-fresh individuals, and NONE of them ever sit next to me. I always get the homeless people, drunken people, deranged people, foul-smelling people, etc. This morning, I had the pleasure of sitting next to someone who was not only weirdly stunted but also absolutely covered in a sheen of sweat. I had to contort my body into a freakish mime position to avoid having my bare flesh touch hers, and it really, really sucked. When she finally got off and someone took her place, the new occupant had to sit forward on the edge of the seat to avoid a BUTT-SHAPED LINE OF SWEAT (curving inwards at the middle). The sweat-avoider giggled to her friend next to her that she had to do this, but it was definitively not amusing.
(3) If you're wearing a bag, pack or whatever else slung over your shoulder whilst standing in the car, MAKE SURE YOUR SHIT ISN'T BANGING INTO MY HEAD. I swear, the number of people who callously disregard the fact that their huge shit is grinding into my face the entire train ride is stunning. I'm way too passive-aggressive to just come out and tell you to move to the 90% empty rest of the car so your fake Louis bag isn't caressing my cheek, and the fact that I angrily push back into you every time you push into me clearly isn't getting the message across. Perhaps I should just knock you out of the fucking train car at the next stop...?
(4) Stop staring at me. Yes, I see you -- you're the most obvious, least stealthy person currently living in New York. I realize that I'm gorgeous, but please, contain yourself and/or buy a pair of really dark sunglasses so your beady little pupils aren't poring into my soul so conspicuously. If you keep it up, I'll be forced to appendectomize you via your navel with a rusty shrimp fork.
(5) Taking pictures of yourself over and over again with your camera phone is NOT ALLOWED. Christ, gimme a fucking break. The expression of forced ennui on your stupid face is a clear enough indicator that you're bored; do you really need to entertain the entire car with constant clickity sounds as you repeatedly photograph yourself? I realize that updating your picture on Facebook every other day increases the chance you'll score with the ladies, but come on.
(6) When the temperature of a subway station pushes 100 degrees, THE MTA SHOULD DO SOMETHING. Standing in the Union Square station every day after having gone to the gym and showered is truly a torturous experience. The fresh layer of shower melts off almost immediately, and I feel the perspiration bubbling out from under my skin. Usually the train comes soon enough that I can remain refreshed in its air conditioned depths, but when it doesn't, thoughts of tracking down and brutally killing whoever decided not to put worthwhile ventilation in the stations are not far from being realized. The best thing is when, every once in a while, you happen to get into a car where the a/c is broken, and you have to endure the tropical atmosphere until you can switch to another one. I think I suffocated in one of those once and was only brought back to life when an elderly Korean woman used my chest as a trampoline to be the first one out of the car at Canal St.
Anyway, I think that's it for now, though much more is sure to crop up in the future. I hope my unrestrained fury has made you all feel better about your daily commutes, and the next time you encounter a psychopathic, morbidly obese homeless person whose backpack is knocking you in the head, just slit his throat with a CD edge, and think of me while you do it.
xo,
Matt
gravity.
free to associate. Author: adam daniel weissso usually when i post music up on this here bloggidy-blog, it's usually a fun long mix of several songs to get you through your day. today, i'm going to do it up a lil different. upon the advice of a someone whom i regard as a pretty smart person, i am going to focus on just one song.
last week was the season finale of SYTYCD, and I caught a performance that I must have missed previously in the season. It was danced by Kayla and Kupono, and the performance was about addiction. Kayla was fighting against addiction, which was being portrayed by Kupono, although it was never mentioned what the addiction was, and in all honesty, it was irrelevant. The piece was choreographed by Mia Michaels, who I believe is quite possibly the best choreographer on the show, if not in the industry, and the song she chose was "Gravity" by Sara Bareilles. Most people know Sara Bareilles for her hit song "Love Song", and I actually saw her open for Mika a few years ago.
Now I've been watching the show for many years, and there have been some truly wonderful pieces, but I have never been so moved as I was by this performance, and more so by the song. The lyrics and the music are beautiful together, and Sara Bareilles' voice is so raw and tender. I do not know what Sara is singing about in "Gravity", but it seems deeply personal, and you can feel that in the power of her voice.
Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.
You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown
in your love and not feel your rain.
[CHORUS]
Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.
You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.
[CHORUS]
I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything
I think I need here on the ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down
Something about the combination of the lyrics with the beautiful and haunting choreography just touched me really deeply. Have a listen to the song, and watch the performance. It's beautiful, it's bold, and it will move you.
...
music. bring it.
free to associate. Author: adam daniel weiss
Well lady and gentleman (singular...i don't fool myself into thinking i'm that popular), as I have been incapacitated as of late (damn pink eye and lacerated cornea!), I have decided to update my what seems to be nearly non-topical blog. I say this because honestly I haven't upheld my own promise to keep this thing as up to date as I wanted. I rarely write on it anymore because I've been busy with work, travel and my rapidly-expanding social life. Ok, it's not really rapidly expanding per se, but i have met a lot of great new people as of late (you know who you are), and I just feel like I am as busy as ever. It's not necessarily a good thing though, because I felt that I didn't have enough "me" time...of course when certain friends treat you like a leper because of said pink eye, you spend a lot of "me" time in front of the tele at home watching whatever you can find on the DVR. As a side note, i HIGHLY recommend you check out the show Obsessed on A&E, it's fascinating!
Anywayyyy, that all being said, I've decided that it's time to enlighten you all with more music than you can handle! 25 (that's right, TWENTY-FIVE!) great songs to keep you incredibly entertained. Included in this cavalcade of enjoyability are NEW songs by Madonna (yay!), Calvin Harris, Mercedes from Glee, Whitney Houston (yay again!), Mika (yay! yay! yay!), a great Kings of Leon cover by former AI contestant Brooke White, a "stripped-down" live version by Kelly Clarkson, and oh so much more!
Link is below the playlist, it will only be available for a short period of time, so get it while it's hot!